The Waiting Game
by CaptainDeryn
Summary: Captain Emeldir Deryn knew somewhere in the back of his mind his relationship with Risha might not last. But when it finally looks like it's about to become a reality he's forced to accept the fact that he might need to let her go. But the decision she makes might not be what he thought it would.


**A oneshot between** ** _Thieving_** **chapters, regarding my main smuggler Emeldir Deryn. Spoilers for the Smuggler class story line, the romance with Risha and the romance conversations.**

 **Some lines are taken directly from the game conversation and I don't claim to own those lines or SWTOR in general.**

Emeldir walked back into his quarters from the 'fresher, pulling a loose white shirt over his head with a sigh of relief as his the tension in his shoulders eased at the movement. He had spent nearly three weeks down on Corellia with Captain Taqq, leaving him tired and subdued. This was the first time he had set foot back on the _Phoenix_ and after checking in with all his crew members he just wanted nothing more than to sleep.

Heading over to the storage cabinet attached to the wall he grimaced when his bad leg ached with each step. Corellia had been hard, his hefty payment of credits and the knowledge that the Voidwolf was gone was only some consolation for the shit that had gone on planetside.

The effort to end the Empire's hold on Corellia had sent the two captains all over the main sectors of the planet and the amount of Imps they had brought down in the fighting had left Emeldir's head spinning. On top of feeling more than ever like nothing more than a hired gun, Captain Taqq had been ready to explode at the slightest provocation. Seeing her homeworld ravished and falling apart had pushed her to her limit with both the Empire and the Republic. It had made their job all the harder, as Emeldir tried to play damage control and keep them both alive to win the war. Only after they had managed to tear the Empire's hand from Corellia did his fellow captain finally relax, her anger diminished enough for her to wish him luck defeating the Voidwolf after he had refused her help.

Emeldir's muscles seemed to cry out in complaint at even thinking about the confrontation with the Voidwolf. Going in alone had in itself been one of his worst ideas in a long time and poor planning on his part had left him scrambling when the ship had begun to collapse in on itself. Although he had come out victorious and ended the man that had his claws stuck in his life for far too long he couldn't find the energy to celebrate.

The nav computer was reset to bring them to the Fleet, where he would let his crew go until they received a new mission. Then he would return to his home on Coruscant to do repairs on the _Phoenix_ and hopefully see his family again.

He was just sitting down on the edge of his bed with a datapad in hand to transfer credits to Taqq's account; continuing to repay the debt he swore he owed her, when there was a knock on the frame of his door. Looking up he saw Risha hovering at the frame, fidgeting with her hands. "Hey Risha."

"Captain." She greeted tightly, looking down. "Can I talk to you?"

Emeldir stood and set the datapad aside, instantly uneasy. They had stopped the formalities of referring to him as 'Captain' a long time ago. "Sure. Something bothering you?" He walked over to lean on the door frame opposite her. "Did something happen while I was planetside?"

"Things on Dubrillion have taken a turn. The king put a death mark on Count Rineld's head. When the citizens heard that, they rebelled." She met his inquisitive look when she brought up Rineld, the Dubrillion man asking for her hand in marriage, moving on when he made no comment. Rindeld's proposal had left unspoken tension between them but Risha had made no move to discuss it and Emeldir had pulled away, determined to not force her decision. "The king imposed martial law but that got the aristocracy all riled up. The whole planet is going to war."

Emeldir raised his eyebrows, letting out a low whistle. "Well that's a lot to happen so fast. Looks like the Count's plans to take over the planet by marrying you have gone up in flames."

Risha let out a weary breath. "We were never going to unseat the king without a fight. I'd just hoped we'd get to pick the time and place. Needless to say the Count's got his hands full just staying alive. But even with all that's happening he still wants to marry me." She either scoffed or laughed, Emeldir couldn't tell. He inclined his head for her to continue, heart sinking. While he had promised himself it was Risha's decision and she needed to do what was best for her, each mention that he might not be what she wanted or needed was like a smack to the face.

"I can't keep putting him off. Any advice on how to play this Emeldir?"

Emeldir was silent for several seconds, chewing on his lip with his eyes on the ground before he looked back up at her, tilting his head to the side. "I mean, you don't have to marry the count. You could stay here...with me." He said suddenly in a burst of courage, faltering slightly as the courage faded just as quickly as it had come. Wasn't this exactly what he said he wasn't going to do?

Risha started, taking a step back. " _What_? I asked you for advice not…" She trailed off, eyes narrowing suspiciously even as her voice softened. "Do you really mean that?" The _Phoenix_ 's main holoterminal beeped with an incoming call and Risha took a breath, already drawn away from his outburst. "Oh, perfect-time's up. That's him on the holo. Alright, let's do this." Before she turned and disappeared around the corner to where the terminal sat she met Emeldir's eyes one more time with an emotion he couldn't place. Then she was gone and Emeldir hesitated for a moment, scrubbing a hand through his still damp hair.

"Of course I meant it." He mumbled, knowing she couldn't hear him. She hadn't said no but...Emeldir steeled himself for the conversation ahead and the moment when he would have to let her go. She had said ever since the beginning that this wouldn't be something that could last but he hadn't listened.

"...I'm glad you're safe." Risha was saying when Emeldir slipped in quietly, standing near the wall. "From what I hear the fighting got worse after you escaped."

"I cannot spare Dubrillion from war, but perhaps we can still create a better future together. I realize forging a true relationship takes time and our marriage wouldn't be consummated for some time. But I am hopeful." Count Rineld's image shifted nervously, hands clasped in front of him. "My proposal stands dear Risha, will you marry me?"

Emeldir had his gaze fixed on the floor, arms tight across his chest but when the proposal filled the small room he glanced over at Risha sideways. He wasn't going to-

"Risha," His voice soft but she still glanced back at him. "My offer still stands as well." He gave a nervous, breathy laugh. "I mean, sure he's rich, questionably handsome and popular. But I'm...me." He held her look for several seconds and when she broke it to look back at the count his shoulders dropped. The silence moments longer and Emeldir let his head fall back against the wall, wanting nothing more than to melt back into the wall and never be seen again.

"I'm sorry Merrit, but he's had my heart longer than you." Emeldir's breath caught, eyes widening. "I hope we can still be friends; I'll need you to help rebuild Dubrillion when the war ends."

The count's voice was low, disappointed even as he addressed her respectfully. "Of course. I await the day you grant me amnesty so I may return to Dubrillion.." He gave a slight bow. "Farewell Risha. May the stars watch over you…" His image flickered out and Risha shifted her weight, bringing one hand up to her forehead.

"Well that ended better than I expected. Except for the part where my whole world is at war."

War or no, Emeldir's heart was sparking with hope again and he uncrossed his arms and took a step towards her. "You said no to the Count. Does that mean…"

He froze mid step when she drew further away from him, putting the holoterminal between them. "It's under consideration. I promise I won't keep you waiting for long." Her words with rushed and choppy and she pivoted, disappearing back into the depths of the ship before Emeldir could speak again. He stood in the middle of the lounge, blinking at the spot where she had disappeared until he seemed to fold in on himself.

Risha had been an unreadable enigma ever since they had met and Emeldir had no guess as to how her decision would pan out. But as he slinked back to his quarters he found little will to attempt to work it out. That bone deep weariness had returned and he fell into its dreamless embrace willingly.

* * *

His answer came over a day later when he returned to the ship after saying goodbye to Corso on the Republic Fleet. She was standing in the lounge, her eyes meeting his before darting away again when he slowly made his way over.

"I'll be heading for Coruscant, if you want to leave now's the time." His voice was carefully measured, wary. She had been avoiding him ever since she had refused Count Rineld and he was beginning to wonder if he had done something to completely damage the trust and affection they had built over three years.

"I wanted to talk to you. It didn't seem right with all the crew around." Risha shifted from foot to foot. "You know, I didn't think you could still surprise me, but proposing in front of Count Rineld? That was a whammy."

Emeldir winced. If he had just kept his promise maybe this wouldn't have happened. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Hold on, Deryn." Risha cut him off, holding up a hand. "I wasn't sure if you were serious then. But I am now, and my answer is yes." She raised a shoulder in a relaxed shrug, but her own look was searching his with the same uncertainty as his. "Whatever happens, however long it takes, when I'm finally queen of Dubrillion you could be my king. If you're still willing."

He was silent for several seconds, standing with his head cocked and eyes narrowed slightly. She wavered under his intense gaze, opening her mouth as though to try and amend a mistake. Uncertainty argued with a rising joy and he squashed it down, crossing the space between them in two strides to pull her in a tight hug. Bringing his lips to her ear he whispered; "It's about blasted time you came around. Do you know how many beautiful woman I've turned down to have you?"

She relaxed at his lightened tone, laughing and burying her face against his shoulder. "Call me vain, but I hope it was thousands." She pulled back enough to look up at him. "Someday we'll have a royal wedding, but let's do something personal right now before you do something stupid and get yourself killed."

"Lead the way princess." Emeldir said.

"I Risha Drayen, take you as my future king." Her soft smile and uncharacteristic shyness was all the sincerity he needed to put his anxieties to rest. "I promise to always be faithful," Her smile turned into a sly smirk. "And always apologize when I get snippy with you. Except when you're wrong."

He brought his head down so their foreheads touched, grinning. "What you said, plus this; I'll only skim ten percent off the royal treasury." Her laugh was music to his ears.

"Only ten percent? You really do love me."

His laughter joined hers and they stood close for a long while, reveling in each others presence until Risha stepped back, twining their fingers together. "Now let's get this ship in the air. We've got all the time in the world to actually _live_ with Voidy gone. It'll be nice to be on the ground."

Emeldir quirked an eyebrow, bringing her hand to his lips before backing up to go to the bridge. "As you wish your royal highness."

He snickered as she whacked his shoulder. "Can't tease me with that anymore, you're under that title too."

With a smirk he took the opportunity he saw. "That means I get to be a queen? It's always been a dream of mine." In the brief time it took Risha to sigh heavily at him, he had covered the remaining distance to the bridge in a few bounds and attacked the nav computer with newfound enthusiasm.

"You're the worst, you know that?" Her arms wrapped around his waist as she leaned against his back. "What have I gotten myself into?"

"I don't know what you were thinking." Emeldir sighed dramatically, punching in the remaining coordinates for Coruscant. "Horrible, horrible mistake really. "

"If you're the worst decision I can make," Risha chuckled into his shoulder. "Then I think I'm doing pretty well."

The black of open space blurred to the blue snowstorm of hyperspace and Emeldir put on hand over Risha's, glancing to the side. "I love you, Rish."

Her voice was muffled by his shirt and he ducked his head, stifling a chuckle of almost childlike joy as she mumbled, "I know."

* * *

 **I loved the romance arc with Risha, and the inclusion of the famous I love you/I know in game. But some of the lines were a bit awkward and too forward for my characterization of Emeldir, so this is trying to remedy that.**

 **Hope anyone who reads this at least enjoyed somewhat. If not, thanks for stopping by anyways.**

 **-CaptainDeryn**


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